The Legend of Zelda: Inside Out
by flaminchica
Summary: What happens when some of the Zelda characters get sucked out of the game? Complete and utter confusion, that's what!
1. Prologue

_**good evening and welcome back to- ah forget it. I've started (another) Zelda fic and another fic in general. sigh I really need to finish stories before I start new ones. okay, down to business. as all of you should know, I DON'T OWN ZEDLA! shocker, ain't it? I've read a lot of fics where a person gets sucked into the game. well what would happen if Link and Co. got sucked OUT of the game? read to find out! (tee hee. I'm evil. I don't tell! XD)  
**_

Jessica sat in front of the TV, x-box controller in hand. Her brother, AJ, stood behind her, giving her pointers.

"Turn left. No, your other left! I mean, right! NO, no, you'll die if you go that way!" AJ waved his arms around, yelling.

"Shut it, will ya? I'm at work here!" Jessica snapped, flicking at the controls. "Jeez, you're so tense when I'm playing, but so calm when you are!" AJ didn't reply.

"I'm gonna go find something to do." he said, walking off. Jessica rolled her eyes at her brother's sudden mood swings and turned right. Just as her brother said, an enemy was waiting for her and she was killed. Sighing, she flicked the x-box off and unplugged it from the TV.

"Nothing like good ol' Zelda." Jessica murmured as she took the N64 wires and started plugging them in to the back of the TV. As she reached for the last cord, she noticed it was slit, but not fully cut. It looked deep enough to cause problems, but Jessica wasn't sure. "AJ!" Jessica yelled through the house.

"What? You die like I said you would?" AJ asked, walking back into the game room with a soda.

"Shad up. One of the N64 wires are slit. Should I just cover it in electric tape?" AJ nodded without looking at the cut and walked into his room. He came out a few seconds later, holding green electric tape. He tossed it to her and she wrapped it around the wire's cut.

"Don't waste it all or not put enough." AJ said, wandering off back into his room.

"Gee, that helps a whole bunch." Jessica said sarcastically. She plugged the last wire in fully and flicked the on button on the console.

The game loaded where Jessica had last saved, Ganon's Castle. She made her way through the level, not finding very many surprising enemies considering she played the game a lot. A few minutes later, Jessica was giving Ganon his last blow. As Link and Zelda appeared in the clouds, the N64 began to rumble.

Pictures began to flash on the screen. Epona. Raru. Saria. Darunia. Ruto. Impa. Nabooru. Ganondorf. Dark Link. Navi. Adult Zelda. Child Zelda. Adult Link. Child Link. The N64 rumbled more and there was a flash of light. Then, brown, yellow, green, red, blue, purple, orange, black, black and red, light blue, two pink, and two gold balls of light shot forth from the TV screen.

Momentarily blinded, Jessica heard someone land beside her and felt someone land in her lap. A small voice groaned in her lap.

"Ugh. Navi?" the voice asked. Someone beside her also groaned.

"Who's there?" it asked. This voice was deeper, but still young. As Jessica's vision cleared, she looked at who had landed in her lap. Her mouth dropped.

"What are you doing in my house?" she demanded, jumping up and accidentally making the blonde kid in her lap fall over and hit his head on the TV screen.

"Ouch. Navi, what is that?" he moaned.

"Sorry, it's just that you surprised me." Jessica explained, scratching the back of her neck in embarrassment. "It's not every day Hylians pop out of my TV screen."

"TV screen? What's that?" he asked, sitting up. Now Jessica had a full view of his face. He looked most defiantly like the young Link.

"Umm... it's the thing you just bumped in to." Jessica replied, trying not to laugh. The young Link turned to stare at the TV and jumped back when he saw the beginning rolls of the game.

"What's that? It looks like Hyrule!" he exclaimed, backing up into someone else. Jessica and little-Link just noticed the other blonde character that had happened to jump out of Jessica's TV screen.

"And I suppose you want to know what happened?" Jessica asked them both. Adult-Link stared down at little-Link as he stared up at him. They both looked at Jessica.

"Who are you?" they asked in unison.

"Uh... Jessica. You can call me Jess, though. And you're Link and you're Link," she said, pointing to each of them. "Which is really confuzing."

"And I thought Ruto was weird." little-Link whispered to adult-Link.

"But she is right." adult-Link whispered back. Little-Link blinked, then scratched his head.

"Umm... I think I'll take you up on that what happened suggestion." he said, smiling sheepishly.

"I figured as much." Jess muttered. "Okay, all these faces flashed on this screen here and then there was a flash of light and then little balls of light jumped from the TV and then you were here."

"Wow. That explains everything." adult-Link said sarcastically.

"Well what's yall's explaination?" Jess asked, putting her hands on her hips, annoyed.

"There was a flash of light like you described, and Zelda, young Zelda, Epona, Dark Link, the Sages, Ganondorf, Navi, him, and I were all in the Temple of Time. Then we all surrounded by balls of energy that-"

"Swept you away like it does when you play teleporting songs?" Jess finished. Adult-Link gave her a searching look before nodding.

"And then we were here." little-Link added.

"What we need to know now is where everyone else is..." adult-Link murmured.

"And where you are. You guys are in a totally different time period than Hyrule. You'd be thrown into the nut house if not jail, carrying around those swords and wearing those clothes." Jess pointed out.

"And how do you suggest we fix this?" adult-Link asked.

"AJ!" Jess yelled, making little-Link cover his ears childishly. A few seconds later, AJ emerged from his room.

"You don't have to yell, my room's right here." He paused when he saw the Links. "Why didn't you tell me you and a new boyfriend and his kid brother were having an at home Zelda convention? I would have gotten out my Great Fairy costume!" AJ disappeared into his room again.

"NO! AJ, NOT THAT!" Jess shrieked. AJ closed the door to his room. Jess attempted to open the door, but thought better of it. Links gave her looks.

"Umm... That's my brother. AJ. He's... a little insecure right now," she said, scratching the back of her neck again. "It's more like every day, but hopefully you wont be here to see that..." she said more to herself than to them.

"What does insecure mean?" little-Link asked. Both Jess and adult- Link bit their lips.

"It's when..." Luckily, neither of them had to explain because AJ came out in a wig.

"I couldn't fit into the whole thing any more, but this is just the four of us, so whatever." he said as Jess sighed in relief. He went to the stereo and turned on his Zelda CD. Little-Link cocked his head.

"What's that? It's playing Saria's song! Is it some weird kind of ocarina? And what's this?" He bounced over to the computer where AJ's picture slideshow screen saver of some Zelda fanart he had found was going on. "Why am I on here? And Ganondorf on his horse? Ooh, that's me slicing a Deku Baba in half! And there's Zelda and- AH! RUTO!" He ran from the screen. "Don't let her give me girl cooties!" AJ raised an eyebrow.

"You're acting like you've never seen a stereo or computer before."

"Computer? Stereo? Who are they?" little-Link asked curiously. Adult- Link looked interested in the screensaver and stereo too.

"Don't you dudes have these things in your house?" AJ asked. Jess slapped herself for her brother's idiocy.

"No, but I-, I mean we, have a record thing on the wall." little-Link replied, smiling at adult-Link.

"And Malon gave me a cow. It takes up half the room, almost." adult- Link added. AJ's face went blank.

"And I live in a fountain and you have to play Zelda's Lullaby to get me to come out and heal you, right?"

"Um, AJ." Jess elbowed her brother. "They're the real thing." AJ burst out laughing.

"I must admit, they act enough like the real thing and their clothes are the best I've seen, but seriously, Jess, you're way out of your mind." AJ explained, not believing it.

"You're way out of capability of believing it." adult-Link countered. AJ stopped laughing and looked the two up and down.

"What happened?" Jess groaned and explained her side again, speaking really fast, the Links adding things in along the way. "Did you catch that?"

"Something about lots of light." AJ replied, scratching his head in confusion.

"Close enough. The Links are going to need to hang low for awhile." Jessica stated.

"I got the threads for Link if you got the money to buy some for Link." AJ paused. "That made no sense."

"Ugh, my brain hurts." little-Link complained, rubbing his forehead.

"Okay, okay. We'll just call adult-Link Al for now. Adult-Link only, the first two letters." Jess sighed.

"Okay, AJ, just give him some clothes and Link and I'll go to Wal- Mart or Target." Jess instructed, rolling her eyes. "And go ahead and show him the games and all that comic and fanart stuff you have." AJ nodded and the two teens disappeared into AJ's room. Little-Link sighed and cocked his head.

"Why can't I just stay in these clothes?" he asked. "And what's wrong with carrying around my weapons?"

"Um... because the police, they're like guards, and the governor, he's like a king but with a whole lot less power, think they're dangerous objects to carry around." Jess explained. Link shrugged.

"So?"

"Ya know, for a future knight of Hyrule, you sure don't take time to notice the laws." Link shrugged again.

"So?" Jess sighed, taking the sword and shield from him, putting them in her room.

"So I can keep everything else?" Link asked, perking up.

"No. I just don't want to go digging through your person to find all your junk. I'm not that weird." Jess replied.

"Okay." Link took his bomb bag of his belt, delicately placing it with his sword and shield. He then took his Deku sticks, Din's Fire, sling shot, and Lens of Truth and put it with the other stuff.

"You can keep the boomerang, Deku nuts, and ocarina. They aren't odd enough to draw attention." Jess said. Link smiled.

"Are we ready to go then?" He didn't wait for Jessica's answer and ran out the door. "So where do we go?"

"Wal-Mart."

"Where's that?"

"Down the street."

"How long will it take to get there?"

"Not long. We'll walk."

"What'll we find?"

"Clothes."

"What type? Kokiri, Goron, Zora, Hylian, or Gerudo?"

"Sorta all of them mixed together." Link cocked his head again, thinking.

"That's some odd clothing we're buying." Jess sighed. So this is why Link didn't talk. By that time they were out of Jess and AJ's apartment complex and walking down the streets of New York City.

"So what's this land called?" Link asked.

"Umm... We call it a state, but they're the same thing... I guess. It's called New York."

"Is it New because you're recovering from an Evil King like Ganondorf?"

"Um... no. I don't know why it's New. It's actually really old, if you think about it..." Jessica replied, scratching the back of her neck again. 'Jeez, by the time this is over all the skin on my neck will be scratched off.' she thought to herself.

A few minutes later the two had arrived at Wal-Mart and were searching the boy's section for anything that looked like it fit Link since they didn't know his size.

"This is nice. I always thought you looked good in red." Jess said, holding up a red shirt with a black dragon design on in. Link cocked his head again.

"You've seen me in red?"

"Al. Same thing. Person." Jess corrected herself. Link looked at her oddly, still not understanding the fact that they were the same people.  
"When we get home, Al can explain it for you." Jessica told him, handing him the shirt. "Go try it on while I find some pants to go with it." Link reached for his belt when Jess stopped him. "In there." She directed him to the dressing room. "Stay there until I come back. Don't go anywhere once your done changing." she warned. Link nodded and disappeared into a stall.

"Will do!" he replied from inside. Jess sighed and went to go find him some pants. After finding some black ones, she went back over to the changing stalls.

"Link? Ya in there?" she called out, knocking on a few stalls.

"Here! Did you find those pants?" he asked. Jess tossed them over the stall door.

"Try em' on. Did the shirt fit?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, then I'm going to need that tag to pay."

"Umm... You don't have to pay." Link said from inside the stall.

"Oh, yes I do! Your money isn't the same as our money. Do the pants fit?" Link emerged from the stall. He was still wearing his hat, making Jess chuckle.  
"I'll make sure to get you some green clothes so you can still wear that, but with this," She took the hat off his head and stuck it in his pocket. "No." Link sighed.

"Do I have to?" he wined.

"Unfortunately, yes. If you want to fit in, this is a no, no." Jess replied. She took the tags off his clothes. "Let's go get a green shirt and pay. Your boots will do for now." Link nodded.

"Okay then." The two went back to the boys department, grabbed a shirt and went to pay. They made it halfway down the street before Link started to ask questions.

"What are those things?"

"Cars."

"What do they do?"

"They, um... Well, you get in them, tell them to go, and steer them to where you want to go."

"Like a horse?"

"Yeah, only you don't kick it unless it breaks down."

"Does that not hurt the Car?"

"Umm... the cars aren't alive. They're machines."

"What are those?"

"They're things that aren't alive, things that you control, and things that break down a lot, and things that you have to fix all the time." Jess replied. "Did you get all that?"

"Umm, no, but okay!" Jessica sighed. This was going to be a long walk home.

Many explanations later, the two were near the apartment complex. As they passed a dark alley, Link stopped.

"What?" Jess asked, expecting him to ask what a dumpster was.

"I thought I heard someone call my name." Jess froze in fear. If someone recognized Link, then they were in deep. The only one that would recognize him would be someone from the game, namely Ganondorf. She grabbed his boomerang off his belt and stood in front of him protectively, scanning the alley.

"No! I'm a friend!" a girl's voice called out. Jessica's eyes trailed down to look at a little girl's face peering out from behind the dumpster.

"Princess Zelda? I'm sorry!" Jess quickly handed Link his boomerang back. The little girl smiled.

"That's okay. I'm sorry I startled you. I just saw a familiar face. We're getting quite lonely and confused hiding here." Zelda replied.

"We? Who's with you?" Link asked. Zelda emerged from behind the dumpster, followed by a teenage boy not much older than Jessica. She hadn't noticed the boy because he wore a black scarf around the lower part of his head and the hood of a black hoodie was up. His jeans were a faded black and had a couple of holes. Zelda herself was wearing shabby clothes. The jeans she wore were a little too big for her and the shirt had the sleeves ripped off.

"Sheik?" Jess asked, raising her eyebrows.

"How do you know our names?" he asked.

"She knows a lot of things. She sort of weird like that." Link replied for Jessica. "Me and Big Link landed in her house."

"We landed in this alley." Zelda explained. "If you know our names, then you know Sheik's true identity right?" Jess nodded. "Well, she explained why she was my older self and said she could better protect the two of us if she was Sheik. We then found some clothes in this big box-"she indicated a card board box full of clothes to be thrown away. "So we could blend in."

"I think that's pretty good for right now. But those clothes are old and torn and really not very good unless you want to fit in with the people that live in back alleys." Jess said. Link nodded in agreement.

"We just went to the store to buy me new clothes. Big Link is borrowing some of Jessica's brother's clothes." Link explained.

"Sheik, you could borrow some of my brothers clothes. And when you're Zelda, you can use my clothes. As for Zelda, we'll have to look through my attic and see if I still have some of my old clothes." Jessica offered. "That is, if you want to come. But, I highly suggest you coming with us until we find the Sages and Ganon and another place to stay."

"You seem to know a lot about us and our world." Sheik commented.

"And you know nothing of this one." Jess replied. "My brother and I can explain at my house." The two nodded and the four walked back to Jessica and her brother's apartment.

**_I'm really bad a t beginnings and all, but I will get better. this is going to be a little bit of comedy too, since the people from Hyrule are absolutely clueless to what our world is like. but I guess you noticed that when Little Link asked so many questions. and have you ever noticed how hard it is to describe these types of things to people? I mean, how do you describe machines to someone from the way back past? not that time travel is possible (at the moment. our world is always learning something new. how to time travel might be next.) but how do you do something like that? I mean-_**

DUE TO THE AUTHORESS'S CONTINUING RAMBLINGS, WE HAVE BLEEPED HER OUT SO SHE MAY NOT WASTE OUR TIME OR YOURS. PLEASE REMEMBER TO REVIEW TO HER FIC, AS IT IS ALWAYS POLITE. THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY!


	2. Rupees, Jobs, and Triple Decker Sandwich

_**uh… I haven't updated this in…forever. OOOOPSSSS.**_

_**yeah, so I don't own zelda. blah blah blah. **_

"You know, we can't keep EVERYONE here." AJ was whispering to Jess as the characters were in the kitchen eating. "I mean, the four of them is okay for now, but the sages will be a BIG problem. I mean, I can already see Ruto and Darunia in a zoo if not in some freakish lab." Jess contemplated this silently.

"Well, they can't be far. They've got to be in New York _somewhere_. They have no where else to go." she murmured. "Although you're right about the housing thing…"

The two brother and sister were inseparable. Although only eighteen and nineteen, the two had both graduated a minor college together and started living in New York. It was kinda strange, yeah, to be living together when siblings were supposed to hate each other, but that wasn't the case with those two. AJ worked for a programmer from the house and Jess, since she couldn't find a decent job, worked in a deli across the street. She never told anyone that though… The siblings bought the apartment together to fit their needs. It had two bathrooms and three bedrooms along with a kitchen and a living room.

"HEY JESS!!!" young Link yelled from the kitchen.

"What?"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY MILK?"

"Link, stop yelling!" both Zelda's scolded in unison. Jess rolled her eyes and told her brother,

"We'll have a pow-wow and figure it out together."

Jess went in the kitchen, arms crossed. Link was searching around the floor. He looked up when he saw her.

"I can't find the trap door to your cold room." he explained. Jess and AJ regarded the Hylians with confused stares.

"Your… cold room." Al repeated. AJ elbowed Jess.

"I think they mean the refrigerator."

"Oh, right." Jess replied, smacking herself on the head. "Milk." She went over to the fridge and pulled a carton of milk out and set it on the table. Al and the Zelda's regarded the carton curiously while Link was inspecting the fridge. He opened it and closed it repeatedly.

"Why's it so cold?" he asked finally.

"It's another machine." Jess replied. Link's expression didn't change.

"Oh. Do you kick this one too?" Jess didn't reply, rolling her eyes. She noticed Al unscrewing the cap to the carton and proceeding to drink it.

"Uh, dude, most people use cups." AJ stated, taking the carton. Jess took it from her brother and handed it back to Al.

"Knock yourself out." she told him then turned to her brother, who was staring at her. "What? I do that all the time." AJ tried to ignore his younger sister and turned to the group.

"Okay. We have some planning to do." he said, immediately taking charge. "First things first, we'll handle the sleeping and eating situations."

"I say Older Zelda and Young Zelda take the guest bedroom and Al can sleep on the pullout couch." Jess replied. "And Young Link can sleep on the cot in a sleeping bag or with Al."

"Nuh uh, we toss around too much." Al rejected the idea of sleeping with his younger self. "He can take the cot."

"Aw, why can't I get the bed?" Link wailed.

"Because the cot isn't big enough for Al." AJ admitted. "Okay, next line of business. For now, our paychecks can not pay for this much extra food." He glanced at the messy table. A whole loaf of bread had been devoured, as had most of the butter along with it. Jess had made Adult Zelda ravioli, and then everyone else had to have some too, so the empty bowls lay on the table. "I suggest that Adult Zelda, who we'll just call Sheik on a regular basis so we wont get confused, and Al get some temporary jobs to pull their own weight a little."

"I'm sure Mr. Gorge wouldn't mind hiring another hand at the deli." Jess offered. AJ considered this.

"What dos the job entail?" Sheik asked.

"He'll mostly put you on cleanup duty or cash register, which I suggest you stay away from." Jess replied.

"Why?" the four Hylians asked in unison.

"Because one- you don't know how to work it, two- you don't know how to count this dimensions currency, and three- the cash register at the deli is possessed." the teen replied. Zelda shuddered, but Sheik seemed unfazed.

"I can do the job, but I'll stay away from this register…"

"Good." AJ agreed. "Al, we'll get you a job somehow…"

"What about us?" Link piped up. AJ shrugged.

"You two could… well, hmmm…" The boy sat down on the counter and thought. "How many rupees do all of you have?" The four Hylians began to spill the goods on the floor. Soon, a good pile of jewels was spilled before them. AJ picked a green one up and examined it. "Jess, go get those emerald earrings Mom gave you for your birthday." Jess ran off to do that while the Hylians sat in silence. The girl came back moments later.

"Whatcha doing?" Link asked, watching AJ compare the green rupee with the emeralds.

"Looking."

"At what?"

"Earrings."

"Why?"

"So we can get money."

"Oh." Link frowned. "How do you get money from earrings?" AJ groaned.

"We sell the rupees and get money from them."

"Oh." Link muttered. He looked satisfied, but then asked, "But then why do you need the emeralds?"

"AUGH!"

"Sorry."

Minutes later, AJ and Al were on their way to the jewelers to see if they could pass the rupees as actual rare stones… and Jess, Sheik, Zelda, and Link went across the street to the deli.

"Hey Harry." Jess muttered, leaning against the counter. "Do you know where Gorge is?" The clerk named Harry continued to hit the register.

"Hi Jessica. Mr. Gorge is in the back."

"Thanks. This way, Sheik. Oh, and, Zelda, Link." Jess turned to the kids. "Stay right there and don't move." The two kids shrugged and twiddled their thumbs. Jess lead Sheik into the back room. Mr. Gorge, a guy with a belly that matched his name, was slicing ham for sandwiches. He looked up when Jess and Sheik (as Zelda) walked in.

"Hello Jess. What are you doing here? And who's this friend?" he asked, wiping his hands on his apron.

"This is my friend Sheik. She's going to be living with me for awhile, so we were wondering if you could give her a job." Both girls smiled sweetly.

"Uh, well…" The boss contemplated this for a moment. "Sure. She can take the same shift as you and do clean up and stocking. Harry's getting tired of taking out the trash anyway."

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!" Jess screamed and ran out of the backroom screaming, "YOU'RE A LIFE SAVER!" Sheik stared at Mr. Gorge for a moment, then slowly backed away.

"Uhthankyoubye!" she said and ran after Jess. Harry was in the process of building a very large sandwich for Link and Zelda and Jess was in the process of talking him out of it.

"Harry, come on, they're kids, they don't need a triple decker triple meat triple sauce special! I mean, I don't even eat that! At lease not with all three sauces…"

"Jess, we're hungry!" Link complained. "It's just a sandwich!"

"We have those back at the apartment, guys, come on."

"Sorry, Jess, but we already ate the bread," Zelda reminded her. Jess threw her hands in the air, tempted to begin screaming obscenities, but remembered the young ears present.

"Come on, you two, we'll find something else to eat back at the apartment," Sheik said, shoving the kids away from the counter. Grumbling, they allowed themselves to be prodded to the door. Jess sighed and glared at Harry.

"What were you thinking, offering them the triple sauce? That stuff could kill them!" she exclaimed. Harry held up his hands defensively, glad he was on the opposite side of the counter.

"Hey now, they asked for it! I'm just making the sandwich! What am I supposed to do with it now? I got a masterpiece here and no one to eat it!" he said, frowning at the beauty on the counter. Jess rolled her eyes.

"Eat it yourself! Give it to a bum on the street! I don't care," she replied. Harry brightened.

"Maybe this'll make that weird old guy go away! You have no idea what I've had to deal with this morning, Jessica. Gorge has been making me try his new recipes and the cash register tried to eat my hand and this fat old man fell in the dumpster and refuses to leave!" Harry panted from his outburst.

"Fat old man that doesn't want to leave the dumpster? Harry, I told you to stop drinking those energy drinks before work!" Jess scolded.

"No, I swear! He keeps saying he can't leave the portal or something. Come on, wanna see? He's so weird!" Jess arched her eyebrows, now curious.

"Uh, you guys go on back. I'll be there in a sec," she told the three Hylians behind her. Sheik nodded and shoved the protesting children out the door. "Alright, where is this guy? If you say he's weird, then he must be a nut-job." Harry didn't catch the insult, too excited at the prospect of showing off the find. He opened the counter door for Jessica and led her to the back alley. If liquefied and bottled, the stench coming from the dumpster could remove nail polish. Jess hoped that the guy in the dumpster wasn't who she thought it was.

It was.

"Grandfather! What are you doing in there?!" Jess exclaimed when Harry opened the lid. "AJ and _Link_ have been looking all over for you!" Whatever protest Raru was about to make to being Jess' grandfather was stopped at Link's name.

"This geezer is your grandfather?" Harry asked, bewildered.

"Are you blind, Harry? Can't you see the familial resemblance? Come on Grandfather, Zelda's at home worried sick!" Raru let Jess help him out of the dumpster while Harry spluttered and grumbled.

"I hope you can keep him out of the dumpster from now on!" he said, shoving the wrapped sandwich into Jessica's hands. She handed it to Raru, gave him a look that said 'keep your mouth shut' and told Harry,

"Next time you let a poor old man fall in the dumpster, call me before you let him sit there all morning!"

_**soooo… yeah.**_

_**sorry about the long wait for the update. ummm, I don't think long even begins to cover it… again SORRY!!!!**_

_**hope i haven't lost anyone due to my long absence! summer looks like a promising time to catch the writer's bug!**_


	3. Grocery Shopping?

_**multiple upload in one day equals forgiveness, right???**_

_***crickets chirp***_

_**yeah, thought not…. SOOORRRYYYYY!!!!**_

_**i hope i'll re-earn your love! *puppy eyes***_

_**me own Zelda? ppssshaw. I wish.**_

AJ and Al hadn't been able to pass off the Rupees as actual rare stones, or at least any the jeweler had recognized, but the pawn shop was more than happy to take the stones off their hands. AJ made sure to hold onto most of them, knowing it wasn't all that smart to carry so much cash around New York. The green rupees had gone for $50 a piece, the others even more.

Al was much more reflective than his younger counterpart. He still asked questions, but they were fewer and farther between. AJ could deal with this.

"Is all of your world like this? These skyscrapers and streets?" Al asked. He looked uncomfortable in his jeans and t-shirt. The only weapon AJ had let him leave the house with was his Megaton Hammer, which was small enough to be inconspicuous.

"No, this is just the city. There are trees and lakes and rivers in other parts of the country. Deserts and mountains even. New York City is a big place, but it's not the only place."

"I'd like to see those other places," Al said, staring at the sky as they walked. AJ guided him away from the hotdog stand he was about to run into. "Sorry," he murmured. "I don't know what we would be doing with out you and your sister to help us."

"Don't thank us too soon," AJ warned. "We have no idea how to get you home, much less find everyone else." They walked on in silence for a bit longer, Al contemplating the world he found himself in.

"Hey, you want to see those trees I told you about?" AJ asked. "Central Park's not too far from here. It's not really a forest," he explained. "But it's all we got close by." Al brightened.

"Sure. I know what a park is."

"Great. The apartment is on the other side of the park, so we'll just walk all the way home. We won't take the subway again." Al was relieved. Bustling through so many people had been an experience he wasn't keen on repeating. Being surrounded by enemies was one thing. Being surrounded by innocent people, all of them strange and few of them smelling pleasant, was something totally different.

The park was a refreshing change. Al's sharp ears made it impossible to really escape the noise of the city, but the park muted it slightly. The park smelled of green and dirt, where the city just smelled like grime and people.

"It's great, isn't it? There's food stands and musicians. It's great for people watching. Jess and I used to study out here all the time. Now that we're out of school, we don't come here as often," AJ said.

"So you are scholars?" Al asked. AJ laughed.

"Not really. Not anymore, I guess. We both took a program in high school that let you take classes at community college, so we graduated early." AJ laughed again. "Grandma thought it was cheating and she called Jessica's degree underwater basket weaving." The joke was lost on Al.

"She'll get along well with the Zora craft masters, then." AJ was about to try and explain his mistake when Al held up a hand. "Do you hear that?" AJ listened. Birds. The sizzle of a hotdog cart behind them. Street music.

"The music?"

"Yes. There's an ocarina playing."

"We have those here too. It's probably some street performer. Sounds like they have some drums too." Al was walking quickly in the direction of the music. "What's up, Al?" As they got closer to the music, Al recognized the song.

The street musicians were sitting off the sidewalk under a tree. A dreadlocked, wizened old man beat on an African drum to the beat of a song that a short, green haired girl played, eyes closed. Adult Link waited patiently for the song to be over, a relieved smile on his face.

"Saria!"

"Link!" the Kokiri girl smiled. She turned to the man she'd been playing with. "Thank you for playing with me. I have to go now, goodbye!" The old man smiled and waved as they walked away. AJ handed him a twenty, murmured a thank you, and ran to catch up.

"I'm glad you're alright!" Al was saying.

"Yes, I'm just fine. I was a little worried when we landed here, but I knew you would find me at some point." Two fairies, one Saria's own and the other Navi, poked out of the girl's dress pocket.

"Navi!" Link exclaimed, scooping the blue fairy out.

"Shh shh shh!" AJ exclaimed, which was somewhat of an oxymoron. "I don't think I told you this, but fairies aren't common here. In fact, they really don't exist except in stories, so could we keep this on the down low?"

"Sorry, AJ," Al said, hiding Navi in his hat. Unlike Little Link, Al had refused to take it off. "Oh, Saria, this is AJ. We're staying with him and his sister Jessica."

"Nice to meet you," Saria said, smiling. "I appreciate your hospitality." AJ laughed.

"Wait till you see the accommodations, then you can thank me."

***

"We're going to have to find a bigger apartment," Jess groaned, standing in front of the linen closet. Unlike most girls, Jess didn't really care how many towels and sheets she had, so long as the one she was using was dry. Fortunately for the visitors, AJ was a bit of a neat freak and had made sure the apartment was well supplied with extra linens long ago. They had plenty of sheets, but a lack of beds.

"Someone's just going to have to sleep on the floor. Share beds. Something," Sheik said. "I'm sorry we have to impose upon you like this, Jessica." Jess waved her hand.

"Oh, don't even think about it!" She purposely didn't mention it was probably her fault they were there in the first place. "Hopefully we can gather all of you into one place and send you back soon." She began pulling sheets and blankets off the shelves. "Not that I have any idea how to send you back, but I'm sure between your magic and AJ's technical expertise we can find a way." Zelda took the sheets from Jess and grimaced.

"Until then, we need to figure out how to make due with what you have. How about having your brother keep his room, Raru take the guest room, the Links stay here in the living room, and Zelda and I share your room with you?" Jess shrugged.

"So long as I don't have to sleep in the same room as the sage, I'm all good. He's taken three showers and I can still smell him from up here." Raru and the children were down in the courtyard of the apartment complex playing with a bouncy ball that Jess had found in a desk drawer. Link and Zelda were having a grand old time while Raru sat in a corner, grumbling, scolding whenever the pair threw the little white and green speckled ball at him.

"I'll make you a pallet in your room," Sheik said, leaving a few sheets for the pull-out and cot. Jess opened her mouth, indignant, but the princess had already left.

"Royalty!"

"Hey! We're back!" AJ called through the apartment. "We found Saria too." The three trooped into the living room.

"Score! Now you can sleep on the floor and…" Jess stopped. "Gosh darn it, I still have to sleep on the floor!"

"I thought we'd already got the sleeping arrangements handled?" Al said. Jess shrugged and led them into the kitchen.

"Yeah, but we found Raru." She laughed. "In the dumpster!" She cackled. Saria's smile didn't fade, but she leaned over to Al and whispered,

"Is she always like this?" Al shrugged.

"Yeah, unfortunately she is," AJ replied, smacking his sister's shoulder. "Hey, we need to go grocery shopping. Pull a list, and yourself, together so we can go." Jess smacked her brother back without looking at him.

"Are you hungry, Saria? You can eat before we go. The others devoured most of the food, but we've still got some yogurt."

"I am hungry, but what is yogurt?"

"It's bacteria. It's awesome," Jess replied. Saria's smile disappeared. "Hey, eating mushrooms is eating a plant's reproductive parts. This isn't nearly so bad." She opened the fridge and fished out a few yogurt cups. "I can offer you blueberry, peach, or vanilla."

"I'll try the blueberry," Saria replied politely. Jess tossed her the cup and turned to get her a spoon. Shocked, Saria almost dropped it, but Al caught it for her. "Al, you want anything?"

"No, I'm good, thanks."

"Okey dokey, then. Here's a spoon." Rather than turn to start making the list, she watched Saria until she took her first bite. Apprehension turned to surprise.

"This is great stuff!" Saria said, digging in for another bite. "Are these little blue things,"

"The berries, yea," AJ said. "Jess, come on, I want to get the shopping done _BEFORE_ we have to get kicked out by the Vietnamese store owner."

"Fine, fine, get everyone ready to go. We'll do this bullet style."

"Bullet style?" Al asked. "Sounds dangerous." AJ sighed.

"With Jess at the wheel, everything's dangerous."

***

"Alright," Jess said, pulling out a couple of carts from the line. "Raru and I will be by the produce with the carts." She pointed over to the other side of the store. "What we're going to do is I'm going to give you something to look for and you're going to bring it back to me." The group assembled in front of her nodded. "Alright. Link and Zelda, I want three gallons of milk. They're in the cartons you drank from this afternoon in the cold section. Sheik, on that third isle over there, you're going to find cans of soup. I want a box of 24 cans of tomato. Should have a picture of a tomato on it. Al, you are going over to the cold section too. I need you to get packages of ham and turkey. Saria, go over to that fifth isle and get as many loaves of bread as you can carry. AJ, you go get some frozen pizzas."

Everyone split off to their respective tasks except AJ, who looked skeptically at Jess.

"This isn't going to work. They don't know what they're really looking for," he said. Jess glared at him and began pushing her cart towards the produce. Raru clumsily followed with his.

"I agree with your brother. This plan is not going to work. It's going to waste time," he said. Jess glanced at the sage, eyebrows arched.

"Your plan to get home by staying in the dumpster half the day wasn't going to work either. A waste of time, if you may. Besides, we have time to waste. We're not going to find everyone else and send you back tonight." She picked up some apples and put them in the balance.

"Is this good?" Saria was barely visible behind the stack of bread she was carrying.

"Great! Let me help you," Jess said, taking the loaves and putting them in the cart. "Nice variety. Okay, next you can go and get some cereal. Same isle, boxes with the funny-looking people on them. Get whatever looks good."

"Get one with the man in the green hat!" AJ said as he came up with the pizza. Saria nodded and went back, conversing discreetly with her fairy about the wonders of the "market". AJ put the pizzas in the bottom of the cart. "I've got the ones on sale, four for ten. Two cheese, one pep, and one supreme. What's next on the list?"

"Cheese. Sliced."

"American?"

"Who are you and what did you do with my brother? I want cheddar!" AJ shrugged.

"Just thinking of the guests."

"You think they'd want stinking American? They've never even heard of America! Get the cheddar!"

"Jessica, what should I be doing?" Raru interrupted. AJ mouthed a thank you over Jessica's shoulder and walked to the refrigerated section. "Do we need more apples?"

"Sure. Oranges and bananas too. Bag 'em up, would you? Dozen of each should do good. I'm going to get some lettuce and salad stuff. Any preferences?"

"Onions," Raru replied, gathering the fruits. Jess rolled her eyes.

"Great, more odor." By the time she had picked three heads of lettuce, an onion, a bag of carrots, and mushrooms, Saria had returned with AJ's Lucky Charms and an assortment of other boxes filled with sugar coated goodness.

"Aw, you even got the reject cereal that's not cool enough to be in a box!" Jess cooed, examining the off brand CoCo Puffs. Saria frowned, not sure if she'd done something wrong or not. "Oh, don't worry, you're good. You did everything right." Jess glanced around. "I think you're the only one that did it right…" Raru laughed as he put the fruit in his cart. "Shad up, stink pot!"

Link and Zelda, groaning, brought the milk to the cart. They hefted the gallons into the cart, panting. Saria giggled.

"Why don't you just carry milk in bottles?" Link asked. "It's much lighter! I can't carry this around so easily. If I'm fighting and need some milk, the moblins would just laugh at me if I pulled this out to drink!" Jess laughed.

"Well, at least they're laughing and not stickin you!" For once, Link just stared rather than opening his mouth. "Alright, next we need some eggs. Grab a package of eighteen each would ya?" She patted Link on the head, making Saria giggle harder. Al and Sheik returned at the same time.

"I'm not exactly sure this is ham or turkey…" Al said, handing her the packages. He had grabbed one of everything it looked like. "I just grabbed what…resembled… meat."

"You did fine," Jess assured. "Take these back, though. I hate bologna."

"Hey, hey, HEY!" AJ grabbed the baloney. "I love bologna. Most delicious processed meat on the planet. Besides, I want to teach Link and Zelda how to make bologna boats!" Jess rolled her eyes.

"You'll teach them bad habits. Thanks, Sheik. Can you get some clam chowder now? The picture will be of bowl of white soup with some chunks in it."

"You know that's pretty much every cream of random vegetable out there?" AJ said. Jess shoved him after the princess.

"Then YOU go show her what it is. HEY! Don't run with the eggs!" Link and Zelda skidded to a halt, managing to hold onto their eggs. Al took them carefully from the kids before Jess could scold. "Okay, look, you three are done so you can go… pick out some ice cream! Yeah, go to the freezers over there and pick out what you think looks good." Saria, Link, and Zelda shrugged and walked away.

"What else do you need?" Al asked. Jess checked the list.

"We have everything except the snack food. Potato chips, cookies, and all that jazz. Raru, could you go get a spot in line over there? We'll meet you in a sec."

"I could get this snack food," Al said. He tried not to laugh, watching Raru struggle away with his cart. "It looks like the sage needs some help." Jess shook her head and pushed her cart in the opposite direction.

"As much help as he may need, you can only leave the junk food to the experts. Prepare to watch and learn! See this right here, rice pop corn? No. You want the real thing, coated in butter preferably. Pop corn needs to come from corn, not rice." Al put a box of movie microwave in her cart at her behest. "Alright, now as far as chips go, you want two basics, one made of potato and one made of corn. The corn should be covered in cheese." The standard Doritos landed in the cart. "Potato can be anything. We'll get two today, the original and the sour cream and chives." Two more bags landed in the cart.

"These are sliced potatoes?" Al asked. "We have something similar in Hyrule. We call them medallions."

"Sounds healthy. These aren't. Okay, cookies next. Home-made cookies are preferable and maybe I'll do some later, but these are better than nothing. When getting store bought cookies, you look for the chewy, not the chunky. The chunky can be a little too crunchy for me. Those ones, in the red package, yes."

"So the point of junk food is to be un-healthy?" Al asked.

"It's called junk for a reason. Don't worry, we'll eat a salad later."

"Anything else? There's so much stuff!" Jess was about to respond when Link slid around the corner.

"Hey, um, that ice cream you told us to get and and and those freezer machines you said they were in, well they kind of sorta,"

"Link just say it!" Al said.

"Zelda's stuck in the freezer!"

"Oh goodness, lets go."

Zelda was indeed stuck in the freezer, standing onto of some frozen pie crusts. Al pulled her out and started rubbing her arms. While Link tried to explain how they were drawing pictures in the frost on the inside of the door.

"See, here's my dinosaur," he said, quite proud of himself now that his friend had been rescued and was fine. "It drew it on my tree at home too."

"I KNEW it was a dinosaur! HA! AJ thought it was a premonition drawing of your fight with Ganon later in your life."

"Well I like dinosaurs."

"That's great kid. Thanks for proving me right. You do get some ice cream after all." Link grinned. "You doing alright, Zel?" The princess nodded. She wasn't shivering anymore and Al and turned to make sure Saria was okay too, though she hadn't been in the freezer.

"The strawberry looks tasty."

"JESSICA! THE LADY'S YELLING AT ME IN VIETNAMESE AGAIN!"

"Okay, guys, play time's over, we gotta go pay!"

_**Navi will be a bigger laugh later, I promise. :)**_


End file.
